Whymy ticket was torn to halves?
Justlike all other parents, my family also wishes to cultivate me to bean independent and responsible person. When I was twelveyears old, I had to do many things on my own, for instance, buyingfruits at the fruit store, going to the park, etc. On one sunnyafternoon, I decided to watch a film alone, but I found that it was amistake when I walked into the cinema and saw a group of fashionableyoung men chatting happily, and I was quite incompatible with them.The cinema hallsetting was arranged neatly such that everyone would comfortablywatch movie from any corner. The room appeared a little bit darkperhaps to give a clear view of the movie screen. The digital movieprojector projected films onto a large projection monitor at thefront of the audience. Most people walked in pairs.
Afterlooking around, I found a group of people. Although I had not watchedfilm in the cinema before, I had seen many of such plots ontelevision. After thinking for a moment, I concluded that it was thequeue for ticket buyers. I pretended to be still and waiting at thetail of the queue. At that time, the mobile communication tool wasnot popular, and as a result, young people had nothing to focus onduring the waiting process, and I just made up for the void caused bythe waiting. I felt that they all looked at me. Nevertheless, I darednot to raise my head to stare at them, but whisper silently, just atwelve-year-oldboy, there is nothing to look at. However, it could not satisfy theircuriosity just by looking at me, and I heard that the surroundingpeople whispered, “Why was a child in the cinema alone? Where arehis parents? Is he missing? Is he abandoned by his parents? What apoor boy!” Finally, I got up the courage and raised my head to lookfor the source of the whisper. However, there were too many people,and I could only have tears in my eyes. Maybe I was their focus, andI felt that the queue moved quite slowly. After endless entanglementand waiting, it was finally my turn to buy the ticket.
Ilooked at the ticket seller helplessly and asked “Can I buy aticket?” “Of course,” answered the ticket seller gently. “Whichfilm do you want to watch?” I was suddenly stuck, for I did notknow how many films were showing, and I could not understand thesurrounding posters. I had to answer quietly “I do not know.” Itseemed that the ticket seller knew what I was wondering and offeredto go through the films list so I could pick one. “OK, thank youvery much,” I answered quickly. Eventually, I selected the film‘Shaolin Soccer’. “Where do you want to sit?” Pick a seatplease she offered as she turned the computer screen towards me. Iwas at a loss again, “what is the meaning of the blocks indifferent colors? How do I pick the seat?” The ticket seller smiledat me and encouraged me, “the yellow one means it can be selected,and the top of the computer screen shall be the screen of film.” Ipointed at one yellow block embarrassedly, and yelled “this one.”The ticket seller printed one ticket for me proficiently and told methe number of projection room. Finally, I got the ticket and walkedinto the waiting hall.
Ido not know if I delayed too much when buying ticket, but I was thelast one to purchase the ticket of Shaolin Soccer and I was the lastone in the queue. However, people in front of me could not see me,which reduced the focus on me greatly. The queue moved forwardslowly, and I looked around and pried into the movement of queuecuriously. Nevertheless, I was too short and their actions were tooquick, I could only see the hand of ticket inspector shookconstantly. I started wondering what the inspector was doing. Was heinterested in my seat number or film name? I started to recall theplots on television, but remembered that I only watched people buytickets and not how ticket inspection was done. “Maybe theinspector is only inspecting my ticket to see if I got to the wrongprojection room,” I comforted myself. It was my turn soon, and myheartbeat started to accelerate. The inspector was tall, quitestrong, and serious. I handed in my ticket to him nervously, but hetook my ticket and tore it into two pieces expressionlessly.
Idid not understand why this happened, and I did not know what I haddone wrong. I just stood there like a fool, and the ticket sellerhanded the other half of the ticket to me. I was full of tears, tookover the half ticket, and ran towards the exit. I started to reflecton myself, “Am I too nervous? didn’t I smile?” I thought suchtreatment was given to me just because I was a little child. Thismade me regret my decision of watching film. However, I wasdetermined to go back and inquire as to why my ticket was torn. Iwent back to the ticket office, and the ticket seller looked at mepuzzled, “what is wrong?” she asked. I spoke with hesitation,“can I buy another ticket of Shaolin Soccer.” “Of course,”she answered, and this time, I selected the seat smoothly. In thisway, I got another ticket. Before I stepped into the waiting hall, Igot the courage and took a deep breath, smiled and stepped toward thebig boy firmly. I smiled at him, and he was not expressionless butinnocent and suspicious. However, he said nothing. I tried to coolmyself down and to hide my shivering from him, and then handed theticket to him. “I must succeed,” I encouraged myself, but I wasstill shivering. As it was expected, he tore it again setting me intoendless desperation. Suddenly, I burst into tears and the inspectorseemed too helpless. He opened his mouth and seemed to say something,but I did not give him the chance, and ran out again.
Iwiped my tears not believing that he tore my ticket for the secondtime. Fuming with anger, I ran back to the ticket office. When I sawthe gentle smile of the ticket seller, I viewed myself as a victim ofinjustice and cried more. The ticket seller seemed to think ofsomething, wiped my tears and asked me gently, “what is wrong? Whydid you run out again? Is someone bullying you?” I sobbed and didnot know how to answer her. I tried to control my emotion, neglectedthe surrounding strange eyes, plucked up the courage, and saiddesperately, “why did he tear my ticket?” When I explained myproblems, I found she was quite relaxed. “Why did he tear myticket?” I screamed again. The ticket seller saw the stub in myhand and understood what I meant. She smiled and whispered “followme.” She took me to the waiting hall. When I saw the inspector, Istepped behind the ticket seller and informed her of the one tearingmy ticket while pointing at the inspector. The inspector wassupersized. The ticket seller reported my doubts and grievances tothe big boy. Consequently, the inspector smiled at me “littlebrother, I just tore the copy of your ticket, and it means you canenter the projection room to watch a film.” I lowered my head,looked at the dashed line on the ticket, and suddenly understood why.I eve realized that he tore everyone’s ticket. “Sorry, Imisunderstood you,” I apologized. However, I still kept in mindwhat the big boy said “it does not matter, if you have any doubtsin the future, please bring it up, and in this way, others mayunderstand you and solve your doubts.”
Eventually,I caught up with the projection of Shaolin Soccer, and the ticketseller took back the extra ticket. Maybe we all have theembarrassment and helplessness in the first time, and maybe we alldeveloped to be natural and graceful from being shy in childhood. Itis indispensable that we shall be willing to change. When weencounter doubts and misunderstandings, a sincere ‘why is that’will save you a lot of unnecessary troubles and dilemmas. This willhelp you build on your courage and face embarrassing situationswithout fear.
Wecan avoid these embarrassing situations by first sensing andunderstanding the environment because we sometimes wrongly perceiveand interpret the situation that bring about the problem. The way wewere brought up by our parents determines our attitudes, suspicions,and conclusions regarding a particular situation or other people.Self-awareness in philosophy is one of the most important conceptthat helps understand oneself, for example, knowing what we like ordislike. This helps us face to build on our motivation, which willthen lead to change in our behavior.
Howwe evaluate others and ourselves affects how we accept ourselves, howwe accept others and how we control ourselves. One should have apositive belief that he/she can handle problems in life because it isbelieved that low esteem is one of the contributing factors thatleads to undesirable behavior. An individual with high self-esteemwill experience a supportive environment, less fear, high valuedevelopment, and good relationship with others.
Internalcritic believed to be a common source of low esteem determines how aperson behaves for example your internal critic may be weak that youcannot sense your own cruelty in terms of how you face things indifferent environments. Internal critic may help you overcome painfulfeeling by acting as a barrier to things that may bring shame to you.This can help you overcome bad behavior and produce the desired one.
Toavoid these embarrassing situations one must have a positiveself-concept, change the way you see yourself by seeing yourself ashonest and remove the barriers that brings fear preventing you fromdoing your best. We are responsible for our own behavior because withthe undesirable behaviors we are the ones suffering. Sometimes welearn through experience, that is, the embarrassing moments teachesus how to behave when we experience the same situation in future.