Week 4

WEEK 4 4


Fromthe different areas of marriage that Worthington discusses, the twoareas that will be discussed in this assignment are communication andconflict resolution. After discussing these areas, I would explainhow the areas can be promoted while acting as a counselor.

Themanner in which couples communicate is critical to solving problemsthat emerge in marriages. Poor communication amid couples is thoughtto be brought about by poor communication style, misunderstandings orimbalances of marital power. At times, problems in marriage may occurbecause of the way a partner communicates for instance, depending onthe way a partner may punctuate his/her interactions may lead tomisunderstandings (Worthington,2005). Besides, as a result of misunderstanding the meaning impliedby a partner, there may emerge a marriage problem. This usually mayhappen when partners are tired, distracted, or stressed. Sometimes,partners may use too much silence and fail to sufficiently expressthemselves. This also may lead to marriage problems since one partnermay feel devalued. On the other hand, marriage problems may resultfrom a power struggle in marriage. At times, partners may tend todetermine who has the power to determine the direction of marriage.In this case, the couple defines and redefines the balance ofdecisional power on every decision made.

Asa counselor, I can promote the area of communication through advisingpartners to address the root cause of deficient love. Partners canonly misunderstand or make the other partner feel devalued because ofdeficient love. Thus, problems in marriage can be addressed throughpartners resolving the problem leading to deficient love. Partnersshould be encouraged to drop their pride and power and replace themwith love, which can be shown through valuing the other partner(Worthington,2005). Besides, partners should be encouraged to show love since itis a great opportunity of cultivating another-oriented heart.Therefore, through partners discovering the deficient lovecommunication can be promoted.

Conflictresolution entails another area of marriage discussed by Worthington.Conflicts within marriage usually result due to arguments, ignorancefrom partners, or even cold war. Sometimes, small disagreements maybuild into heated arguments, but the manners in which couples dealwith such arguments differ (Worthington,2005). At times, some partners react with cold disdain, others fume,while some may react through character assassination. No matter thestyle that couples may use to react to conflicts, troubled couples donot usually resolve their differences. In most cases, hostiledevaluing and power struggle usually characterizes theirinteractions. Therefore, they need to resolve their conflict througheliminating the source of power struggle ad devaluing of one another.

Asa counselor, I would promote conflict resolution through encouragingpartners to always value each other even when the partners are indisagreement. The moment partners are in conflict, they do not valueeach other (Worthington,2005). Therefore, encouraging them to always value each other willhelp in resolving their conflicts. I would also promote conflictresolution through encouraging couples to always listen to eachother. In most cases, when couples are in conflict, they do notlisten to their partner because they only think of their own agenda(Worthington,2005). Thus, encouraging them to listen to one another would help inconflict resolution. In addition, I can promote conflict resolutionthrough encouraging them to always think of a win-win strategy. Thisis because when they are in conflict, they never want to compromisesince they want to hold to their position as the best.


Worthington,E. L. (2005).&nbspHope-focusedmarriage counseling: A guide to brief therapy.Downers Grove, Ill: IntervarsityPress.