DATING IN MODERN CULTURE 5
Datingand relationships for young people in modern cultureDatingand relationships for young people in modern culture
Youngadults have become more sexually liberated today unlike in the past.This has resulted from the fact that dating among young adults is nowdifferent than it used to be, especially in college campuses. Mostspecifically, the pattern known as ‘hooking up’ has received alot of attention in the recent years. Hooking up refers to the socialsetting where prevailing norms support casual interactions, rangingfrom kissing to sexual relationship, with no necessary implicationsfor an ongoing relationship. This pattern of dating is mostlypervasive in universities and colleges as they provide a socialclimate that facilitates hookups. Today, social media such aselectronic mails, cell phones, the internet, and dating sites amongother social sites have provided a platform for hookups.Additionally, the fact that college life is considered a time toparty and let loose has also fosters an atmosphere conducive tohookup.
Thehookup culture has altered the way people experience romance, byreplacing traditional dating and commitment in relationship. Thismodern culture features casual sex and the absence of emotionalentanglement in a relationship. However, studies show that manypeople hooking up, especially women, are not free from emotionalentanglements, as they find hookups even more emotional draining thanbad relationship due to lack of commitment. Furthermore, it isevident that the absence of emotional commitment carries potentialemotional and physical harm. This effects extending beyond collegeyears, as casual sex is often linked with depression, regret,self-destruction behavior, self-hatred and low self-esteem amongothers (Kerner, 2013). A large number of women are recorded to sufferfrom these post-hookup traumas and are afraid to enter into realrelationships because they may feel rejected, used and abused.
Thehookup culture in universities and colleges has fueled the trend ofmarrying later. This modern form of dating has made marriage adistant goal among many young adults. Due to the fact that hookuprelationships do not involve commitment, many young people spendtheir twenties in a series of relationships, usually with someonethey do not plan to marry or get married to. Given that hookup isnot particularly conducive to relationship formation, it has put menand women’s agenda for relationship at odds. Students who do notintend to marry until at least the next five or so years prefer thismodern dating culture, as there is no significant pressure to findtheir future spouse during their university years. Eventually, theyoung adults embedded in the hookup culture realize that they do nothave a particular partner, and do not want to get married even asthey grow older. These people are more likely to struggle withrelationships even in their old age as they cannot keep a partner, aswell as, sustain a committed relationship.
Today’s hookup culture is known to damage reputation especially formany women. Casual sex has resulted to ‘objectification’, wherebymost women are viewed as sex objects. This means that women and younggirls begin thinking of themselves merely as sex objects whose selfworth is determined by how they function in a highly erotic society.This interferes with the development of their personal identity asthey end up giving themselves to men indiscriminately to prove thatthey are valuable. Afterward when the relationship ends they begin tofeel abused, used and useless. On the other hand, women involved incasual sex are considered more promiscuous than men and, therefore,are easily judged and condemned of immorality. When their reputationis damaged, they are viewed as less desirable, unrespectable, andunfit for long-term relationships. This societal judgment of valuescan result to long-term judgment on one’s self-concept.
Althoughmost higher learning institutions are uncomfortable with the hookupculture, they do not want to address it. Despite the fact that theyknow that it leads to problems later in life, they still do not wantto say much about it and, thus, encourages commercialized sex. Theadministration, teaching staff and parents should be willing to standup and tell the students that hookups are wrong, immoral anddamaging. They should collaborate to ensure students and youngteenagers are aware of the dangers of hookup even before they aresexually active. Kerner (2013), points out that a holistic approachthat inspires the students on having confidence in their bodies andwhich fosters satisfaction in sex and relationship should beimplemented. This can be achieved by passing out information,offering guidance and counseling, as well as, emphasis on theimportance of romantic and longtime relationship.
Inconclusion, young adults involved in the modern dating culture havelost sight of their own worth. Through casual sex, they continued tomiss out on some great joys of life experiences in the process offalling in love. They should be aware that sexual gratification andintimacy results from the progression of a long-term and romanticrelationship. Research has established most romantic relationshiphave high likelihood have attaining success in the future becausethey are built on love, trust and commitment. Although hookups seemto be more accepted today than in the past, it is possible that theyare responsible for the rising rate of immorality in the society.
Kerner,I. (2013). Youngadults and a hookup culture. CNN.com